i can't take much more - can anyone help?

[hwyaden]

the situation between bow and max has deteriorated beyond belief.
it's got to the point where i;ve got to think seriously about rehoming bow and it's breaking my heart.
max is now in the kitchen, with a gate between him and the front room; bow is in a crate in the front room and they cannot be together at all.
they've had so many fights recently which is horrible. bow was spayed the day before yesterday so we've been trying to keep her quiet but it's impossible.
what sets them off is noise or the kids - if someone comes to the door and one of them barks it sets the other off barking too then they both set to each other.
they're still walking together with no problems at all, but this afternoon our kids came rushing in the front room (despite plenty of warnings not to as we had to keep the dogs calm) and bow started barking. max started barking back at her and the next thing we knew bow had lunged herself at the crate door and burst out and they set to again. max came off worse this time and had 2 great holes in his face and head. before it's been bow who has come off worse and she's very battlescarred, poor thing.
due to the size of our house it's impossible to keep them any further apart, though from now on max will have to stay in the kitchen.
they're not being let out in the garden together as they fight there as well so they have to go out in turns which takes a lot of shuffling round.
our behaviourist is full to bursting with cases at the moment and can't see us for a couple of weeks.
so many people have told me to re-home bow before we get attached to her but it's too late - we already love the dog to bits, but if it means keeping them both safe then i'll have no other option.
any ideas? any stories of hope? or should we quit now and try to find her a more suitable home? will the home take her back or will we have to rehome her ourselves? she is the perfect dog apart from this dislike of max and vice versa. she's wonderful with the kids, clean in the house, doesn't cry at night and is so bloody loving. i'm gutted.
gail

[cherylW]

Hi Gail

This is so sad my heart isbreaking for you

Can you try another behaviourist at all? I know a really good one, I've PM'd you about him

Good luck with it all, it must be so distressing

x

[Baglady]

I can't imagine how distressing this must be, have you spoken with the Home at all since you brought Bow home with you?

So very sorry you're all going through this

I've pm'd you S x

[lisa]

I am seeing the guy Cheryl is probably recommending tomorrow at 1pm for my dog....I will let you know if he helps my dogs 'issues'. Sounds like you are having an awful time. I hope you can get some help asap. x

[hwyaden]

thanks for all the lovely pm's. we're going to have to do a lot of thinking this weekend!

[Splottlands]

Firstly, have a because I know how horrible this sort of situation can be.

When Freya came here, she and Walter were immediately best friends. After a few years she decided she hated him, would attack him on sight and even fly down the stairs to get to him if he was in the garden. Despite several years of working with them and trying re-introductions, the situation didn't improve.

We were lucky in that I worked from home and have a 3 storey house, Walter had the back room and upstairs, the others had the front room and downstairs. My time was split between them and the only time Freya and Walter could be together was if she was muzzled.

Managing becomes second nature but it's only afterwards you realise how much it takes over your whole life. If we had children, I wouldn't have been able to do it. Would I do it again if I had to? I don't know, I certainly wouldn't want to

I'm sorry if that sounds negative but I'd rather be honest with you.

Whatever decision you have to make, please don't beat yourself up over it

[angelad]

Whatever decision you have to make, please don't beat yourself up over it

I'll just repeat the last part of my pm. to back up again what Kath said because she is so right:

Whatever decision you take regarding Bow, we're with you all the way. We know that if you do decide that Bow has to go back, you'll have made that decision because it is best for her, Max and all the family even if it breaks your heart to do so.

[carol]

poor bow and max

[lisa]

I saw the behaviourist today (probably the one Cheryl Pm'd you about) for my dog and so far, its been much better. He may be worth a try as a last resort...if you haven't already???

BUT if it doesn't work out, don't feel bad as it sounds like you have done all you can.
Take care x

[hwyaden]

i was all set to take bow back yesterday afternoon but my husband and kids were all devastated and convinced me to give her another go.
she'd been really good all day yesterday, going for a really long walk with max with lots of rear sniffing etc and we managed to get them in the kitchen together with them both on leads.
hubby reckons things escalated after bow's op as she was grumpy and we'd kept her well away from max so she didn't get hurt. max doesn't seem to like not being able to see her and that makes him more grumpy.
i'm chasing up our trainer to see if he can fit us in this week and i'll keep you posted.
gail xxx

[susie78]

I really do hope that things work out for you all, all paws and fingers crossed here xxxx

[angelad]

Mar 18, 2012 10:50:17 GMT susie78 said:

I really do hope that things work out for you all, all paws and fingers crossed here xxxx

me to

[Baglady]

I've pm'd you

[hwyaden]

bow has gone back to the dogs home.
it's such a sad situation as she really is a perfect dog - happy, friendly, good with other dogs out walking, clean in the house, quiet at night and absolutely loves children.
if she can find a home where she is an only dog i'm sure she'll make the most wonderful pet ever.
we're going to miss her like crazy. good luck bow xxxxxxxxxx

[Splottlands]

I'm so very sorry for you, I could tell from your posts how much you wanted things to work out.

It won't be any consolation to you right now - and probably not for a very long time - but please don't think you failed Bow.

The lovely Bow has an even better chance of finding her forever home now, thanks to you and your family. The Home staff have a far better understanding of her needs within a home, and they wouldn't have had this had it not been for you giving her the chance that you did.

My thoughts are with you