losing our pets

[gsdcardiff]

My 11 year old GSD passed away a week ago today, I'm heartbroken. I still can't believe he's gone, he went down hill very rapidly. I was wondering what others have done to help come to terms with the loss of their pets.

[garrick]

Hello GSD

I'm so sorry for your loss. My little eighteen year old terrier went in February and it's heartbreaking.

You look for them all the time and I kept questioning myself as to whether I'd done the right things for her.

The thing to remember is to allow yourself to grieve. You've lost a beloved someone and don't fall into the trap of thinking you can't show your grief, that noone will understand, that it's 'only a dog'.

As we all know, they're never 'only dogs'. They're members of the family, best friends and great listening ears. They deserve to be missed and mourned - so let yourself do that.

It'll be too soon for you, I suspect, at the moment but it's helped me to bring another dog into my life. They never, ever 'replace' - but they're a new little personality, who you're giving a better life to. I've always liked to think that the one I've lost would be pleased to know that another is being helped - a sort of continuity of life.

It may be too late to do this for you but I've always taken my pets for a private cremation at a place called Summerleaze Crematorium. It's set in farmland near Magor and they have a proper little chapel of rest and a lovely garden of remembrance there. They're really respectful about your pet and always promise to take good care of them. It's helped me to do that

Don't be afraid to talk about your dog and reminisce about all the good things. My husband made me a lovely picture book of our first dog together - a reminder that she'd had a good life and had been happy.

There are people around who you can talk to. Here on the forum everyone is great and there are also special pet loss counsellors you can have a chat with. The Dogs Trust website or one of the other charities will point you in the right direction, if you need it.

There's an old Welsh saying 'For every wound, the ointment of time' .....hard to imagine now but it will get easier.

Just take good care

[Baglady]

oh Karen, I'm so very, very sad to read this

Reggie was such a beautiful boy, and I know how very loved he was

I honestly don't think there's an answer, you just do whatever you need to do to get from one day to the next. Some people say it's like losing a member of the family. It's not 'like' losing a member of the family, it IS losing a member of the family, and the grief process is a cold and dark tunnel that you just have to go through. You can't get around it, or go over it, or bypass it, and it will be filled with tears and sadness

I can't offer you any advice, I really don't think anything apart from the passage of time makes it easier to bear the loss of a dear friend.

I have said this before, but for me it will always be the most painful truth: inconsolable grief is the price we pay for unconditional love.

Run free, rest easy Reggie

[elemoy]

I can't offer advice only sincere condolences and empathy.
We lost our boy Morgan in March and it still hurts every day and at times i get Morgan pangs when it suddenly hits hard out of nowhere. We have got through by remembering that he knew he was loved very much and that we did our utmost to give him as happy and healthy a life as possible although unfortunately short due to his medical conditions. Whatever works for you personally is what is best, some people scatter ashes in their loved ones favourite place whereas we decided to keep Morgan in the house with us as he hated to be alone and couldn't stand getting wet in the rain so that was our choice.
Allow yourself time to grieve and talk and know that the pain will ease in time.
Remember that all at friends are just that and all of us are here to support each other. If you ever want to talk then feel free to pm me and i'll happily listen.
Take care and lean on us as we are all here for you xx

[annewatkins]

so sorry for ur loss,its heartbreaking,we lost our ddb hooch last october ,and to be honest i still havent got over him,we too used summerleaze pet cremation and they were fab ,we had a beautiful oak casket which is now on my sideboard ,i just felt he needed to be where he always was ,5 weeks after losing him i cudn bear the emptiness in the house and came down to cdh and took home tyson spotty dawg ,he can never replace ur loss but he sure does fill that emptiness ,so if u feel u can have another dog best remedy ,i know ,and ur not being disloyal ,ur r giving another needy dog a home ,best wishes whatever u do again really sorry for iu loss xx

[jakesmum]

I lost my old dog Jake almost exactly 2 years ago. I had him as a tiny crossbreed pup from Manchester Dogs Home and he was 16 when he died. He'd been with me through a divorce, moving home twice, my boys leaving home, my mum dying and a couple of other 'challenges'. He was put down with much love by a vet who was also a good friend - in the back seat of my car with his head on my lap. I came home, went to bed, and cried for hours. I'd had lots of time to prepare myself but the loss of him cut more deeply than I could have imagined.
Two years on and I have had another dog for 18 months. She is a staffy and a different dog altogether. She came from CDH where she'd been for 6 months, waiting. She doesn't replace Jake, but I have expanded to love her as much as I loved him. I know I don't feel complete without a dog in my life, so it was always just a matter of time - and something lets you know when the worst of the grieving is over and you are ready for a new beginning.
Hold on tight, and grieve in whichever way feels right for you.

[gsdcardiff]

Thank you all for your kind words of support. You have all given me something to think about, some very wise words are within this wonderful "friends" group. I'm sorry for all the losses you have all suffered too but thank you for having the courage to talk about them as I know it's upsetting to go back over things. I lost my last dog "Spanna"13 years ago and the passage of time does make it easier I know, but being at the start of that journey again I feel overwhelmed with grief. Thanks for all being there, it helps having people who truly know what you're going through.
We buried Reggie in the garden, he's in a little rememberance garden with Spanna. Just the week before losing Reggie we had taken him on holidays and he enjoyed dashing about on the beach, I will treasure those memories.

[supasax]

my sympathy for your loss,have also lost a few now over my lifetime and there is no easy way to get over it ,but experience has taught me,you can never replace a pet,as even the same breed same look will be a different charecter in their own right ,i lost my last one after 17 years with him as my constant companion and still miss him terribly,and am still looking for my next and maybe last friend ,although i loved them all equally,they were all different ,and i know they had a good life and were happy,all we can do is keep our memories and maybe give another nice dog in need a good home,it helps them and helps us over the pain of our loss.and doesnt makes our lost ones loved any less.it just helps us by being able to give our love and care to another,and helps fill the void we find in our lives

[gsdcardiff]

Thanks Supasax. Sorry to hear you have also lost a few, I hope you find your new friend soon.