Getting a 2nd dog... advice please on the "how to"

[Kara Collie-Cross]

Hello lovelies,

I wasn't sure where in the forum best to put this so I put it here.

It's just wanting to pick people's brains about things to consider when getting a second dog, and I would love to hear from people's experiences, anything to avoid or be careful of, any tricks of the trade, advice on how to introduce a potential new comer.

My own girl is 16 months old now and I've had her since she was 5 months. She has previously lived with another dog before she came to me and she currently lives very happily with a cat (another factor to consider for the newcomer!). She generally on walks is very sociable and really good at approaching other dogs. Happy, polite tail wag & sniff, play if they like to, but gets the hint if they don't.

I have taken her to friend's houses who have dogs and she was fine in their environment, but she's never had another dog in our house.

So apologies for the ramble, I was just wondering if some of you might have some useful advice or experiences to share.

Conny

[Kara Collie-Cross]

www.veterinarypartner.com/Content.plx?P=A&A=2465&S=1

I just read through all that and it all feels really daunting now...

• The dogs in question would be opposite sex - so that's deemed a benefit.
  
• They would have a 5 year age gap - which seems to be deemed ideal
  
• They say not to introduce a 2nd dog until you've had the first dog for at least two years, and she's only been with me for a year - so that would be a negative
  

but I have to admit I am worried about things like my current dog's personality changing as a result of a second dog being there etc...

*ponders*

[Baglady]

Hon, if I had read all the stuff about having a child, what it would cost me over my lifetime, how many times he/she would break my heart, the things I would have to sacrifice, big hollibobs, going out with my buddies, 'freedom'.... and then if I thought of all the 'bad' things that could happen, kid ending up on drugs, pregnant at 15....

If I had read all of that stuff before I had my son (now 29)! maybe I wouldn't be a nana now to 3 gorjuss grandsons and (very very very very soon) my first granddaughter

You are absolutely right to think long and hard, but sometimes you just gotta go with the flow, and the right thing will happen, despite, not because of, our plans.

So, don't say 'I'm going to adopt this dog - end of!'
Do say 'I'm going to do a bit of research, get to know the dog, introduce him to my 'family', and then see how you feel. You will feel something, but if you start off feeling afraid (because of all the worribobble 'this might happen' stuff you read), then it probably won't happen anyway.

I fostered for a few years, initially I just had Fudgie as my 'resident' dog, and later on Bas got his paws under our table. I can remember the first time I met Bas, I was helping transport him from North Wales to Norfolk (I think), and he overnighted here with us.

My very very first impressions were.... nice enough, not my 'type', but 'good luck little 'un eh'

and he stayed the night with us, and he and Fudgie just hit if off immediately... Fudgie was used to having strange strays turn up to stay with us, sometimes for a few months, but I knew that he and Bas were perfect for each other. And the next day I drove him hundreds of miles away to his 'forever home'.

For a week or so, I was listening out for news, was did settling? I told my foster co-ordinator that if it didn't work out with his new family I would foster him like a shot, another week went past, and another, and I thought it was a done deal, and I was resigned to never seeing him again.

Then out of the blue I got a call to say it hadn't worked out in his new home, even though, fair play to his new owners, they hadn't given up straight away, had persevered for almost a month...

Bas came straight back to me on foster, and within a week we had become 'failed fosterers' - something I swore I would never, ever do.

What I'm trying to say is, if it's right for you and Kara and everyone else to get a second dog, it will happen. It might not be the one you would choose, but somehow, someday, it will happen.

Personally, I absolutely believe that dogs generally do much better with dog company, they have a language we humans don't share, it's 'normal' for dogs to seek out other dogs for companionship, etc.

But don't be pressured into anything, maybe just 'be available' and 'open'. Do your research (this is a very straightforward page that I really like) Introducing a 2nd Dog

I love this web site - click 'All Tips' and there are six pages of hints and tips covering a wide range of dog training & behaviour topics.

But seriously Conny, don't set yourself up, don't make a decision and then be faced with 'having to make it work'.

If it's right, you'll know; if it's wrong, you'll know; and if you're not 100% sure it's right, then I would put that in the 'it's probably wrong' box. You will know if/when the dog that's destined to share your life comes along, I guarantee you, you'll know! I 'knew' with Bas, but thought that it just wasn't to be because he already had other plans, and look what happened..... It was meant to be!

Conny, I hope this helps,
S

[Kara Collie-Cross]

What a lovely long post.

Thank you so so much for taking the time to write all that and you make so much sense!!!!!!!!!

Really, what I am hoping for is if we could be allowed to almost gently phase him into our life, if that were possible from the CDH perspective.

I've walked him twice now (just back from 2nd walkies), and I'll use my lunch breaks to keep visiting him. Saturday we've schedule a paddock meet with my lady and see if they are at least not hostile to each other... then hopefully a joint walk. If that goes well, more me visiting him for lunch time walkies and joint walks on the weekend with OH & Kara... then maybe a trial day at home... see what he makes of the cat...

See how it goes. You're right you can wibble yourself into a right state over stuff that may never happen and if it's meant to be we'll know.

I'll check out your weblink now! :-)

[gutsymum]

I wish you every success in finding a friend for your dog and as Susie says you will know the one when you meet ;D I have only experienced this for for family's dogs when i have fostered and they didn't choose them, the dog choose them lol I have all my fingers and toes crossed for you guys that the right dog comes your way xxxx

[pennyb]

Feb 1, 2012 11:50:41 GMT Kara Collie-Cross said:

www.veterinarypartner.com/Content.plx?P=A&A=2465&S=1

I just read through all that and it all feels really daunting now...

• The dogs in question would be opposite sex - so that's deemed a benefit.
  
• They would have a 5 year age gap - which seems to be deemed ideal
  
• They say not to introduce a 2nd dog until you've had the first dog for at least two years, and she's only been with me for a year - so that would be a negative
  

seems a bit extreme methinks (I now have 2 bitches and a dog and age gap between eldest 2 is 13 months).

dogs should be introduced when you think you're ready and current dog is settled

it would make sense if someone was having problems with their current dog that it may be best to get to a stage where problem is manageable.

[ambersangel]

I don't agree with the opposite sex comment, I have always had 2 bitches, we just prefer bitches and as with all dogs, they find their way in their pack.

Our oldest dog Sali is a dominant bitch and is aggressive with some dogs -but not all!, we worked with a great rescue to match her with another, she chose our now much bigger Amber - their dominance has now shifted and Amber is the more dominant, but it's been a gradual shift.

We were advised to introduce the dogs in a neutral environment, on leads and obviously not throwing them together off lead, then see how they react - let them off lead or drop the leads so at least you can get a grip of them.

I so agree with Susie's comment, you have to go with it, it may be that you have to try different dogs - but I now believe what happens happens with dogs, there's always a reason for everything.

I hope things go well Saturday - you will find your second dog

[skye]

Don't panic about it. When my dog was 2 my partner got a puppy we didn't read endless books n webpages we were just sensible. Took them out to meet outside the house, watched them, stamped our authority on the situation at the smallest sign of jealousy and I'm happy to say all was fine. I'm bringing the spaniel to meet jakey on sat and as long as there's no major to-do I'm sure it will be fine. I think it's great if you can provide optimum conditions, but in reality dogs are pack animals and as long as you are the pack leader they will accept your decision to acept a new animal into that pack. My advice is to go with your gut, it's what I intend to do...